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Friday, January 31, 2014

The "D" Word

Last night Cami was at an activity for women in our church. They had a panel of ladies that have been happily married for decades that the other women could ask questions of.

One woman asked about the best way to handle conflict and disagreements in marriage. The panelists shared their sage wisdom such as don't discuss difficult subjects after a certain hour, remember that you love each other and be sure to forgive, seek first to understand then to be understood, and every couple has a different "style" of fighting and you need to learn yours (I've also heard of couples that have a rule that whomever starts the fight has to get completely naked, then they are allowed to continue to be angry...if they can).

Then one of the panelists said "In our marriage we decided early on that we will never say the 'D' word no matter how angry or frustrated we get." Cami understood right away what the "D" word was but as she looked around the room she saw confusion written on most of the women's faces. According to her, she chuckled audibly at this.

The panelist never did explain what the "D" word was. We wonder how many of the women are still wondering today what it is.

After the meeting Cami was chatting with a few of her friends. They began talking about the "D" word and nearly every one of them had taken a few minutes to be able to figure it out.

When Cami arrived home she began relating to me the fun that she had had at the activity. She shared many of the "quotable quotes" that the other women had said and we laughed. Then she told me about this "D" word episode. She didn't tell me what the "D" stood for, I intuitively knew it just like she had.

Have you guessed what the "D" stands for?

DIVORCE

We made a rule during the first weeks of our marriage that no matter what happened to us, no matter what we said or did, no matter what...period...we would NEVER, EVER use the word divorce.

And seven years and seven months later we have never, ever used the word divorce. It is not even an option for us.

This rule causes us to find a way to work together to solve whatever problems arise and unifies us as we tackle challenges that come our way.

It is my firm belief that the "D" word has no place in a happy marriage.



Don't miss your chance to get a copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great. This book will not only help you show your husband that you love him it will help you improve your entire marriage!

You think you're happy now, and I'm sure you are, but I challenge you to read Uplifting Love and apply what you learn today to make your marriage awesome! Don't wait another minute, start taking your marriage from good to great today!

Purchase your copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great right now and have it delivered to your inbox immediately! In just a matter of minutes you'll be on your way to having the marriage that your friends and family envy. Don't delay, get your copy today!
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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

My Wife is Like a Moose

Huh. Maybe that wasn't the best title for this post. I hope Cami doesn't get mad at me. We'll know soon...


Anyway, my wife really is like a moose. Have you ever read the book If You Give a Moose a Muffin? There are other variations of it like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and If You Give a Pig a Party. The story basically follows the many and complex consequences of a single action, such as giving a moose a muffin.

For example, if you give a moose a muffin then he'll want jam. If you give him jam then he'll want another muffin. It goes on and on from here.

I came to the realization a short time ago that my wife is like a moose. I can't just give her a metaphorical muffin without her expecting more. Then if I do that she expects something else.

She often asks me to just come and talk to her while she does the dishes or is cooking. I love talking with Cami so I go and pull up a stool. Within two minutes flat I find myself drying dishes or cutting up olives. Again, I have no problem helping and, in fact, love to do so it just amazes me how quickly and seamlessly I find myself doing more than just spending time next to her while she works (which is what she promised I would be doing).

This got me to thinking. How often am I a moose with a muffin? Quite often actually. With me it's not doing things around and outside that house that I "suck" Cami into helping me. For me it's scratching my back or giving me a massage. I will often strategically choose my seat, often on the floor in front of the couch where she is sitting, to increase the odds that she'll just spontaneously give me a massage.

Other times I will ask that she just rub the back of my neck for a minute. Twenty minutes later she's still going because as my neck gets loose then my shoulders feel tight and when they loosen up then it's my back, and so on and so forth. I'll have to write a book, "If you give a man a massage..."

I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, I just hadn't realized that she was a metaphorical moose before (and that I am too). I've known for years that she's just a like a moose when it comes to the children (moose are incredibly protective of their young, to the point that they will kill to protect them). She's like a moose in that she is very territorial. She is also like a moose in that she has a large and beautiful rack.

So the next time your spouse asks you to "just come and sit with me" beware. You might be giving a moose a muffin.

By the way, the links in this post are affiliate links and, if you click on them and purchase the book, I will receive a small commission at no cost to you. You will also have my gratitude forever.

Don't miss your chance to get a copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great. This book will not only help you show your husband that you love him it will help you improve your entire marriage!

You think you're happy now, and I'm sure you are, but I challenge you to read Uplifting Love and apply what you learn today to make your marriage awesome! Don't wait another minute, start taking your marriage from good to great today!

Purchase your copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great right now and have it delivered to your inbox immediately! In just a matter of minutes you'll be on your way to having the marriage that your friends and family envy. Don't delay, get your copy today!
Buy Now

Saturday, January 18, 2014

How to make your wife feel beautiful, even when she is not feeling that way

This is Cami. I have been sick this past week. The sickness that makes every bone and joint hurt, where you just want to sleep for a million years kind of sick. And when my nose runs, it is like a constant drippy faucet that just will not stop no matter how hard I blow. So I carry a roll of toilet paper with me and have wads of crumpled, used tissue surrounding every known "Cami spot" in the house. So my nose is a bright fiery red in a matter of hours. It is gross. I smell gross, look gross, feel gross.
So a few night ago, we finally got all the kids to bed and then Tyson had a church meeting to go to, so he left and I curled up in bed myself, prepared with my roll of tp and a good book.
Next thing I know I am slowly coming out of a sleep haze where I am sprawled across the bed, surrounded by mounds of snot filled tissue bits, face dripping with drool because I'm so tired. And of course my mouth is open because my nose is so stuffed. I look up and there is Tyson standing in the doorway staring at me with the same look he gave me when he sees me all dressed up and scrumptiously sexy.
"Hey Tys," I say, kind of embarrassed at how disgusting I am.
"You are so incredibly gorgeous" is his reply. And I can tell he means it.
That, gentleman, is how you make your wife feel beautiful.


Don't miss your chance to get a copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great. This book will not only help you show your husband that you love him it will help you improve your entire marriage!

You think you're happy now, and I'm sure you are, but I challenge you to read Uplifting Love and apply what you learn today to make your marriage awesome! Don't wait another minute, start taking your marriage from good to great today!

Purchase your copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great right now and have it delivered to your inbox immediately! In just a matter of minutes you'll be on your way to having the marriage that your friends and family envy. Don't delay, get your copy today!
Buy Now

Monday, January 13, 2014

It's 2014...Now What?

It's been nearly two and half weeks since my last post. That's the longest I've gone in nearly a year without writing or sharing something. Have you missed me?

Much of the last two weeks has been spent pondering about Uplifting Love and if it's really making a difference in anyone's life and marriage. Honestly, I don't know. My audience is still pretty small and unfortunately not very engaged. That's partly my fault; I don't spend much time on Facebook or Twitter and still barely grasp the concept of a hashtag.

Another reason is that almost half of the visitors to Uplifting Love are male. We men tend to be silent online, especially in the blogging world. So I don't expect much feedback from them (though I would enjoy it!).

My search engine optimization has also been on my mind. I am ranking very highly in searches for terms like "how to tell my wife she is beautiful" and "how to show your love to your spouse." This is great! Husbands should be telling their wives how beautiful they are and doing so more often. And showing love to your spouse is always a good thing.

But the question remains, what good am I doing? What do I need to change to help even more people?

That is how you can help me. Please tell me. Send me an email (tyson @ uplifting-love.com) or leave a comment (sorry about the captcha, I've had a TON of spam lately). What should I be doing to reach more people and bless more marriages?

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