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Friday, November 28, 2014

When It's Okay for A Man to Cry...It's Not When You Think

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I am a male. I also consider myself to be a man. They are not the same thing.

Male is a designation given to individuals in a species that meet certain criteria, primarily their reproductive organs.

All men are males, but a man is more than a male. A man is dependable, trustworthy, keeps his word, is a protector and provider, respects women, in short, he is someone of integrity.

As a man there are entire series of unspoken rules about all sorts of things. One of those is crying.

Men can cry. There's nothing wrong with that. I cried each time one of our children were born. I cry when I ponder on the sacrifices that my forefathers made to allow me my political and religious freedom. I tear up when I think of the sacrifices that our current military service men and women are making.

Other times that I tear up: when I think of the possibility of losing one of my children or my sweet wife, when I'm laughing too hard, when I see extreme suffering of other people, and I am cutting onions.

I think most people would agree with me that these are okay times for a man to cry. And they are. There's nothing wrong with shedding a few tears every now and again...in the right situation.

But is it okay for a man to cry when he is feeling grateful? Yes!

When individuals, both men and women, are filled with gratitude they often feel overcome by the emotion and tears come to their eyes. Pure gratitude is a powerful emotion. And it's okay for a man to cry when he's feeling gratitude.

I'm not saying that every time a man feels grateful for something he should burst into tears. But, for example, when I ponder on how lucky I am that Cami married me it often makes my eyes a bit misty.

It's okay for a man to cry...in certain circumstances. When he's feeling gratitude is one of them.

For a more extensive handling of man tears, including a brief history, see the great post When Is It Okay for A Man to Cry? at the site ArtOfManliness.com.

Are there other times that are okay for a man to cry?



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5 comments:

  1. Whatever, whenever I catch you getting a little misty eyed, you claim it is allergies. But I still think it is adorable. Both that you tear up, and that you try to pretend like you aren't actually crying.

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  2. As a mom of young man who is a deep thinker, I have seen him moved to tears over things that really grieve him. I know that he sometimes will hold it in until he feels like it is an 'safe and respectable' place, and I know he sometimes struggles with feeling as if it is un-manly. He would appreciate your thoughts on the subject.

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    1. I don't think crying is inherently unmanly. Being "weepy" is. :) Crying because we are moved by powerful emotions, whether love or gratitude or sorrow, is completely understandable. What would be strange for a man is to weep and wail, to say things like "I just can't stop crying," or to draw attention to himself through his crying. I cried when I watched Hotel Rwanda because of sorrow. When reading certain stories in the Bible I cry. And when those near and dear to me are suffering I can be found with a tear in my eye, especially when I am unable to help. Does that help Dawn?

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  3. Thank you for posting to Motivation Monday!

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  4. I have five sons. I love that they are not ashamed to be growing into caring men. Tears are cleansing!

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