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Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Different Responsibilities, Equal Partners

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed."

I have the privilege at work of leading a team of several amazing individuals. They are some of the best people that I know and great employees.

Our team is responsible for many things. Many of these responsibilities there is equal responsibility for, such as answering the phones and helping customers who come into the office. Additionally, each team member has their own responsibilities. One is responsible for depositing funds we receive into the university's bank account; another primarily handles our outgoing communications to students; another processes certain types of paperwork that we receive.

No one position is more important than another. Without any one of us the team's effectiveness and success would be impacted negatively in a dramatic way.

All members of my team are equal. No one person out ranks another (myself excluded for obvious reasons). We share with each other what we know, offer of our time and talents to advance our common goals, and make sacrifices to help one another fulfill our shared and separate responsibilities.

Marriage should be like this. It is intended to be a partnership between husband and wife. Both are equal and share common responsibilities, however, each has a different primary role and responsibility. Husband and wife are obligated and expected to assist one another in the fulfillment of both their shared and their specific responsibilities, just like my team.

Traditionally men have been the providers and protectors of their families. While I believe that women can be just as capable providers as men can be they have traditionally fulfilled the role of nurturing children. I know unquestionably that my wife is about a million times better at loving and caring for our children than I am. If I were left to raise the children alone I don't know if any of them would end up being functioning adults, without a significant investment in therapy that is.

I am profoundly and eternally grateful that Cami chooses to bless our family with her nurturing abilities. I am grateful that we have been blessed that I have a job that provides for most of our family's temporal needs.

One important thing to note is that the specific roles and responsibilities that husband and wife fulfill vary from marriage to marriage. For example, in the Cooper home Cami takes out the trash. I could but she just does. In the mornings I generally get the children ready before school.

Growing up my dad took out the trash (though Mom would probably argue with this!) and Mom got us ready for school (when we were younger, as we got older we would fend for ourselves).

Every marriage is different and so the division of responsibilities will also be different...and that is okay.

While this is generally the case I do take out the trash on occasion and Cami, when she wakes up early enough, helps get the kids get ready before school. We help each other with our responsibilities.

We are equal partners (though if you ask the boys who the boss is, they will all say "Mom is!").

Here's another example of how Cami and I share the responsibilities of family life. I work out of the home. However, because we felt it was the right thing for our family we have stayed at my current place of employment. The intangible benefits of working there are out of this world but the pay leaves something to be desired.

Because of this Cami has helped me provide financially for the family since the day we were married. She babysits other people's children during the day. She also manages our basement (we rent it out). If it weren't for her I would not be writing this post because I would be working an additional job or two to cover our family's expenses. So if you like what you read you have her to thank.

Marriage is a partnership between husband and wife. It is an equal partnership. While each spouse has unique and differing responsibilities we work together to be successful.

Perhaps we should try starting each day with a chant. Let's put our hands together with our spouse's and shout "GOOOO TEAM!"

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  1. How wonderful to find a post on relationships and marriage written by a man. What a true blessing reading this has been today - You have reminded me of all the great things my husband does and what I do that could not be done without him. Thank you for sharing a personal look into your marriage. May God continue to bless it :)

  2. This is a great post!

    Thanks for joining the Link Up this week! Don't forget to enter the $25 Starbucks giftcard giveaway!

  3. Tania wrote the same words I was thinking! I didn't know you were a man at first. What a wonderful blessing! (Popping over from Thought Provoking Thursday)


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