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Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The 7 Year Itch: How Our Year Turned Out (You'll laugh at #5!)

Just over a year ago Cami and I were approaching our seventh anniversary. We had been told that the year after your seventh anniversary is the hardest and that during that year married couples feel an almost uncontrollable urge to stray from their marriage looking for excitement and adventure.

We thought that was a load of baloney. And I wrote a post about it last May. Check it out.

Well, I am here today to report on our year after our seventh anniversary. In just over a month we will celebrate our eighth wedding anniversary and we have never been happier. There have been a few changes though.

First, we now have four kids so there is even less alone time, like for us individually, and especially less alone time for us as a couple. That's okay though, we're making plans to begin leasing them out to others to earn some extra income for the family. Hopefully that will help.

Second, there has been a noticeable increase in physical contact between the two of us. It now happens in the bedroom, kitchen, dining room, the children's rooms, bathroom, and even in the yard. To be honest, I like it but it is exhausting. (I just reread this paragraph and realized that you probably think I'm talking about sex; I'm not. Cami has become significantly more abusive towards me. That's what I mean when I say physical contact)

Third, we are starting to feel old. We make lots of old jokes about ourselves (I turn thirty next month) and talk about all of our aches and pains and if it's this bad now just how bad it will be in another thirty years! Cami is always talking about her gray hair (she doesn't have that much, just a few strands) and I look in the mirror and see my old skin. You know how young people's skin seems so much more vibrant and youthful. Yeah, my skin's vibrance is fading...quickly.

Fourth, our kids are getting old. Our six year old finishes kindergarten next week. Our four year old is reading and will begin some kind of schooling next year. Our two year old is a almost potty trained and is finally speaking in full sentences (now we wish he would go back to gesturing, it was so much funnier), and our nine month old is ten months old! How did we end up with four kids? (yeah, I think it all started with number 2)

Fifth, we have fewer friends. Okay, we probably have the same amount but with more kids and a busier life we see the friends we have less often than we would like and have no time for making new friends. That's okay though, we like most of the friends we already have.

Finally, we are truly, deeply, maddeningly, wonderfully in love with each other. Cami has never been more beautiful, perfect, kind, sweet, supportive, or loving than she is now. I am a little bit more polished than I was a year ago (just a little tiny bit).

Now that we have eight years behind us I'm anxious to hear what others think the next obstacle is for our marriage. No matter what they think, we will not only survive it, our marriage will be stronger in spite of it. Why? Because we are both 100% committed to each other and to being together forever. We don't plan to even let death do us part.

Year nine, here we come!

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  1. Hi, stopping in from Wedded Wednesday, you were my neighbor. I think any season of marriage can be difficult if you are not plugged into each other and putting God first and each other's needs second. Even with children, it is important to remain close physically (and definitely not in the way you are mentioning here, this could quickly compromise your love and respect for each other and turn to contempt and criticism) and emotionally so that your relationship can remain strong for your children. You need to make time for each other. Tyson, while it is hard for anyone to age, you and your wife are in the prime of your life. If you are starting to worry about the aging process now, not yet at 30...imagine how inwardly focused you will become with each passing year. God made each of you perfectly. Turn your attention away for your perceived flaws, (these are all disguised attacks from the enemy) and toward HIM and the gifts He has given you. Practice joy and gratitude. Take it from someone who is nearing 50, don't head down that road at your age, you may (and your marriage) not survive it. Pray together each morning and evening, and if you need to, take a marriage class together. Two Becoming One is great for couples. Good luck to you and stay focused on all things good. The not so great will become very insignificant. Even if one person practices is very catchy. Blessings.

    1. Kim, first, thank you for visiting my site and for taking the time to leave a comment. I really appreciate it and love to hear others' points of view and advice. I want to quickly clarify that we are feeling older, we're not depressed or despairing about it, we just recognize that we're not 20 anymore. We're still in great shape but with four kids and all of the demands life throws at us today we are tired. And we're okay with being tired and aging. As we do so we're loving it! Thanks again for your advice. We'll be sure not to let anything come between us. Take care!!


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