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Friday, January 31, 2014

The "D" Word

Last night Cami was at an activity for women in our church. They had a panel of ladies that have been happily married for decades that the other women could ask questions of.

One woman asked about the best way to handle conflict and disagreements in marriage. The panelists shared their sage wisdom such as don't discuss difficult subjects after a certain hour, remember that you love each other and be sure to forgive, seek first to understand then to be understood, and every couple has a different "style" of fighting and you need to learn yours (I've also heard of couples that have a rule that whomever starts the fight has to get completely naked, then they are allowed to continue to be angry...if they can).

Then one of the panelists said "In our marriage we decided early on that we will never say the 'D' word no matter how angry or frustrated we get." Cami understood right away what the "D" word was but as she looked around the room she saw confusion written on most of the women's faces. According to her, she chuckled audibly at this.

The panelist never did explain what the "D" word was. We wonder how many of the women are still wondering today what it is.

After the meeting Cami was chatting with a few of her friends. They began talking about the "D" word and nearly every one of them had taken a few minutes to be able to figure it out.

When Cami arrived home she began relating to me the fun that she had had at the activity. She shared many of the "quotable quotes" that the other women had said and we laughed. Then she told me about this "D" word episode. She didn't tell me what the "D" stood for, I intuitively knew it just like she had.

Have you guessed what the "D" stands for?

DIVORCE

We made a rule during the first weeks of our marriage that no matter what happened to us, no matter what we said or did, no matter what...period...we would NEVER, EVER use the word divorce.

And seven years and seven months later we have never, ever used the word divorce. It is not even an option for us.

This rule causes us to find a way to work together to solve whatever problems arise and unifies us as we tackle challenges that come our way.

It is my firm belief that the "D" word has no place in a happy marriage.



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