According to research cited by Lori Lowe for the book "The Normal Bar" in which over 70,000 couples were surveyed to identify relationship "secrets" it was found that 29% of women desire more romance in their relationship. To me that isn't surprising. What is surprising is that 44% of men desired more romance. As I thought about this I realized that this is probably true for my marriage as well. I know that my wife enjoys romance and romantic dates and activities and so I try to plan and carry them out because I know that is what she wants and I want her to be happy but often I overestimate how much romance she expects. I put pressure on myself to make every date and every get-away romantic and that is simply unnecessary. I need to do a better job discussing with Cami what she actually wants; when I have done this in the past I've found that often she would rather just have fun with me or take a nap. She loves naps.
The other problem I find myself struggling with is the stereotypical idea of romantic. A room at a bed and breakfast with rose pedals all over the bed, chocolate covered strawberries on a silver platter on an antique table in the corner, the sun setting in the window just as you enter the room... you know what I'm talking about. We see a variation of this in nearly every romantic comedy (at least in the ones that my wife picks out). Often a stroll around the block we live on together, holding hands of course, is all the romance that is needed. Although I will admit that chocolate covered strawberries seem to make everything better for my sweetheart.
To sum up: I put too much pressure on myself to make everything romantic and I blame television and romantic comedies. That being said, romance is important the key is identifying when and how much. I want to thank Lori Lowe for conducting this research. Her website, www.marriagegems.com, contains other gems that she has discovered about marriage. I encourage you to check it out.
I've also linked up with the From House to Home link party.