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Thursday, December 5, 2013

Your Wife is Ugly...and a few other things you just shouldn't say

One day when I was 16 I happened to be at a youth function at my church. One of the adults was talking about dating and marriage and giving us advice. He had been married for like twenty years and was basically reliving his "glory days" of dating and all of the fun he had.

At some point he made a comment about finding someone that you're attracted to physically and otherwise. Just then one of the boys in the group jumped up and asked the leader why he had married his wife then. For a split second we were all a bit confused. Then he followed up with "I mean, because she's ugly."

Silence filled the room. Within 1.9 milliseconds the boy realized his mistake and all color drained from his face. He and the leader stood with their eyes locked. The leader's full of rage, the boys filled with terror. The rest of us just sat there.

I would like to tell you that the leader used this opportunity to teach the young man in a dignified, Christian manner. Nope. But the exact opposite also didn't happen (the kid didn't get the stuffing beat out of him) either and I believe for that the leader deserves considerable credit.

Up until this point in my life I had instinctively known that there were certain things you did or did not say to others. I couldn't list many (if any) of them if asked but I just kind of knew. On this day I added the first one to the list.

You NEVER, EVER call another man's wife ugly...especially to his face.

Hopefully, you are already aware of this one, but if not I just saved you from significant potential danger. Either way add this one to your list of things NOT to say.

Some other things I have learned not to say:
  • That's not very flattering on you
  • Have you gained weight?
  • How far along are you? (unless you are 110% certain that the woman is expecting)
  • Your baby is ugly
  • I hope you didn't have to pay for that haircut
Even if they are true you shouldn't say them. In fact, it would be best if you didn't even think them because we say what we think, but I know that sometimes we just can't help it, the baby really is ugly.

Remember, NEVER tell a man his wife is ugly. Unless you want to get hurt, then go right ahead.


  1. add "you look tired" to the list.

    And wow.

  2. I'm curious. I would like to know what really did happen between the young man and the leader! Interesting....


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