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Monday, November 18, 2013

Love is Choosing

I read a reader comment on ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com last week. He said "love is choosing."

Love is choosing? I don't think so. According to popular wisdom you don't have a say who you love, at least romantically. We hear regularly "love at first sight", "we fell in love with each other", "we fell out of love", "they just don't love each other anymore", and "lucky in love". These phrases obviously teach us that we don't have any control over love.

Apparently, love comes and goes as it pleases. Those of us who are blessed to have it in our lives, directed at a single person, for an extended period of time are just extra fortunate. Still, we can't control love. You can't bottle it after all.

So, if you love someone today count yourself lucky. Tomorrow you might not love them anymore. But then again, you might. Don't worry about it though. You don't have any control over it anyway.

I mean, if love were choosing then when people "fall out of love" it wouldn't be something that happened to them, it would be something of their own doing, perhaps caused by some form of neglect? That's ridiculous.

If love were choosing then it would be my choice to experience "love at first sight." In other words, I was just walking down the street, saw a woman, and decided that she's the one I want and love. Absurd.

If love were choosing then no one could be "lucky in love" because luck is totally outside of my control. When I play poker with my friends (we don't actually put any money in, we just play with the poker chips and pretend) the person with the best hand didn't work at it or really have any control over which cards he received. How can I choose to be lucky in love? Laughable.

This reader's comment, "love is choosing", is contrary to popular wisdom, therefore, I conclude that it must be wrong.

Does all of this sound ridiculous to anyone else? Or is it just me?


Come back next Monday for Part Two: "Love is blind"

5 comments:

  1. I don't know, I didn't choose to love you. You wore me down until I couldn't help but be in love with you. :) Now I'm stuck, but I guess I'm pretty happy with it.

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    1. You better be. You don't have choice. :)

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  2. It is pretty absurd. I think that the who, when, why and how can happen without any "choice", I think a lot of people can simply go with the flow so to speak without thinking "I choose to fall in love with this person". The only choice I really see is the choice to continue loving even when you don't always feel it because of major marital problems, but it is more of a choice to fulfill your commitment then to love because the love is still there even if it is hard to find at times.

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    1. Great point. Typically love "creeps up" on us and we don't really see it coming "until it's too late." :) However, like you said, when we realize we are in love it becomes a choice whether to nurture and protect it or let it pass away. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!

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  3. Exactly, I think you summed up my words better than I could express them! :)

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