Today I want to talk about another cliche: love is blind. What does this even mean? People who are in love keep optometrists in business?
No. When you love someone you can't see them. That's what it means. They exist but you physically lose the ability to visually perceive their presence. It's kind of unnerving at first but you get used to it over time. When Cami and I first met I could see her clearly but she began to fade the more I got to know her. Now I love her so much that she's completely invisible to me.
I think we all understand what is meant when we say that love is blind. But do we understand WHY love makes us blind?
Here's what I think. When I was a teenager my bishop (basically our congregation's pastor) told me that he was impressed with my parents' marriage. He said that of everyone in the world my dad knew better than anyone else my mom's flaws but the way he talked made others think that she was perfect. What a beautiful sentiment!
This is what love blindness is: knowing your spouse's every flaw and yet not seeing them.
Why does love make us blind? Because we care so much about the other person that we are spending our time and energy focusing on making ourselves better, more worthy, for our spouse that we don't have time (or the inclination) to see their flaws. When both husband and wife are doing this the marriage blooms and love abounds.
In marriages where blind love is found the husband and the wife are uplifted and slowly perfected by the love they feel for each other. And the more we love there is the more blind we become.
Cami is perfect. She has some flaws and imperfections and she is actively working on them. But she's perfect. And no one can convince me otherwise, not even her. Sometimes she tries to tell me that she's not PERFECT but perfect for me. Yep, she's perfect for me. But she's also perfect, and that's that.
I am proud to say that I am blinded by love. Are you? If not, give it a try. Here's how you do it:
- Think about your imperfections and the things you need to work on and do better at
- Think of all of the wonderful and good qualities in your spouse
- Think about all of your imperfections and the things that you need to work on
- Think of the wonderful and good qualities in your spouse
- Rinse and repeat until you're convinced. I know I am. Your spouse really is perfect (at least you're blind to their imperfections anyway)
Now I repeat, I am proud to say that I am blinded by love. Are you?