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Monday, September 30, 2013

Post Baby Bonding

This is a guest post from my beautiful and amazing wife, Cami. I really enjoyed reading it and appreciate her taking the time to write it. I am certain you will enjoy and appreciate it too. Please leave a comment letting Cami know what you thought about her thoughts. She loves hearing what you think. Enjoy!

Having a baby is hard in so many ways.  There is the 9 months of body changing and pain and discomfort. Then there is the actual delivery and whether you have experienced it or not, you know it is painful.  Then there is the recovery, the bleeding and the stitches and the soreness.  Not to mention the breastfeeding discomfort: sore nipples, rock hard chest that makes you want to scream if someone tries to hug you, the constant leaking even months later, you know, stuff like that.  Then there is the not sleeping very well, and having this little person depend on you for everything.  The gross diapers that you seem to be changing every half hour.  Seriously, babies are amazing and a complete miracle and I would (and probably will) go through it all again to have another, but it is no easy feat.

Photo courtesy of Vial Photography

But the one thing that I always find is the hardest is the family changes that having a baby causes.  Not only do you have to deal with one more person in the house, but this little person shifts everything.  I have no idea how many times I tell my older boys, “we can’t do that because of the baby.”  No running, no yelling, it will wake him up.  We can’t go to the park because he is sleeping.  I can’t help you with that because my hands are full, I am feeding him.  Seriously, my poor boys must feel very lonely.  Their once helpful mama is totally consumed with the screaming infant.

So dealing with all my own pain, taking care of a new and very dependent person, and trying to help and take care of all his older brothers and their side effects because they don’t like being held up by the baby, there is one person that gets completely neglected…Daddy.

My poor husband deals with having a new baby really well.  Maybe he is getting used to it since this is the fourth time, but there really is so little time for him.  I will start to massage him and the baby will cry.  We will finally get all the kids in bed and try to actually talk to each other and “ring, ring,” someone has a question or wants to come visit to see the baby.  Seriously, it feels like the whole world tries to join forces to ruin what little time we have together.  And it really doesn’t help that for the first 6 weeks after the baby comes, we can’t connect sexually at all.  Sorry if that is a little blunt, but that is the honest truth.  I hardly even want him touching me anywhere because everything still hurts.

Even though growing a family is wonderful and really important, it is easy to see how having a baby can actually start to split a family up.  It is times like these that you really have to work hard to not let that happen.  So since I am a list person, I think most people are, I have written a little his and hers list of how to connect and strengthen their relationship after the baby comes.
Photo courtesy of Vial Photography

Note this is from my experience and from my friends that I have talked to (thank you everyone that contributed!).  So ask your spouse if he or she likes these ideas.  Then let us know if you think there is something we should add or take off the list.

For him:
  1. Touch her.  There is so little touching you can do or she may want you to do, but make sure you still do.  She is SUPER emotional during this time (as I’m sure you are very aware), so you don’t want to make her feel like a leper.  Don’t totally avoid her.  Ask her what she likes.  “Can I give you a massage?,” or “is it okay if I hold your hand?,” and “can we cuddle for a minute?”  Those few minutes of physical connection will help both of you feel more loved.  But don’t do anything that would be painful for her. Just be nice.
  2. Hold the baby.  There is one sure thing to make me fall in love with Tyson over and over again and that is when he plays with and takes care of the kids.  It is so wonderful to not only have to be the one in charge of them all the time, it also is SO sweet to see how much the people I love most, love each other.  And with an infant, I am always the one holding him, feeding him, changing him, so it just melts me when Tyson takes the baby for a few minutes and talks/coos to him.  It helps me feel like Tyson understands what I am doing and going through better.
  3. Write a note.  You can’t go wrong with a little written love.  I love little reminders through the house of Tyson saying he loves me.  I usually keep them as bookmarks so I can be reminded of his love every time I am reading (I read a lot).  And at this time of emotional vulnerability, it is wonderful to have a note that says he loves me and to see it over and over again.  After we had baby #3, Tyson wrote a note on the mirror above my dresser.  Since I was in the room a lot putting the baby to sleep and feeding him, I saw that mirror and note often throughout the day and it always made me smile.
  4. Food and Water.  The best way to make me happy is to give me food.  And since moms burn tons of calories while nursing, they are super hungry and thirsty.  Get your wife some food or a cup of water.  Seriously, it will earn you points and tons of gratitude.
  5. Take her out.  Obviously you will probably have to take the baby along, but get out of the house. She is stuck in the house so much of the day, she needs some fresh air, but she probably doesn’t want to go alone.  She may want a few minutes alone, so giver her that too, but find time and a way to take her out. 
Help her know she is still someone you want to date and show off to everyone.  Just be careful not to wear her out, make it small outings at first.

For her:
  1. Ignore the kid.  I know, that sounds horrible, but sometimes you need to let the baby cry for a minute. You need to make sure you and your hubby have a few minutes to yourselves.  And he needs to know that really, he is more important to you than the kids.  Your job to take care of them and love them is really important, but they will grow up and leave home and you will be alone with your spouse. You don’t want him to feel like he is second rate and he will get you when you are done with everything else on your list.  Show him that he is more important than that.
  2. Relax and let him touch you.  Guys are much more physical than girls are (in general), and while you are constantly with a little snuggle bug and getting probably more touching than you probably want from the baby and other kids if you have them, your hubby is getting physically neglected.  He may not be able to do all the touching he wants, but make sure you give him massages and hugs, hold his hand and if you really want to surprise him, hop in the shower with him.
  3. Do something he likes.  Your whole world is revolving around you and the baby and your schedules. What you can eat and how tired you are, what you feel like doing.  What does your husband want to do?  Is there a certain movie he likes to watch or easy dessert you can make? Popcorn is totally Tyson’s thing and I can make that and hold the baby at the same time if I need to. And even though he loves Batman and I tolerate it, I could totally let him have a movie night and enjoy it with him.  Plus, I usually have an empty hand that I can use to massage him at least a little bit.  Plus, this is a perfect time for movie watching.  You can even check movies out at the library so it doesn’t cost a thing.
  4. Let him talk.  Sometimes all we want to do is talk talk talk because when you are home with a baby, you usually don’t get to talk to real humans much.  But your hubby hasn’t really had a chance to talk to anyone either.  Ask you hubby how he is and really listen.  Ask questions about his day, help him know you care about his life and what he is doing, don’t think you are the only one that has tough days and is tired.  And if the kids interrupt and want attention, tell them “sorry, give me and Daddy 5 minutes, I want to hear `how he is doing.”  Those 5 minutes will make a big difference.
  5. Make him food.  I asked my friends for some advice on what they do for their hubbies and this was the most common response.  Take a few minutes the night before and make his lunch for the next day. The evenings is usually when the baby is sleeping for longer stretches (at least from my experience) and you can probably get a few minutes to make something for him then.  Or you can even make extra food before the baby comes (my sister suggested burritos) and freeze them so he can have ready-made food whenever and you don’t have to worry about it wearing you out after the baby comes.
  6. Thank him.  Show him you notice all he does.  It makes such a big difference to know you are appreciated.  Notice the things he does and then sincerely thank him for it.
Enjoy your new babies, and help your marriages stay stronger throughout every new challenge and blessing!!


Please let Cami know what you think about her post in the comments. She would love to hear from you!

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Jerry Seinfeld's Thoughts on Marriage

Friday, September 27, 2013

Competition Sign Up Now Open!!

It's time to see who is brave enough to compete against Cami and me. Time to separate the truly competitive from the lightweights.

We're going to keep this simple. In order to sign up to compete against Cami and me for a chance to win one of the awesome prizes enter your email address and name here.

That's it. We're capping the contest to the first 100 couples that sign up, so do it quickly!

You can do it! Don't miss this chance to participate! Click here to sign up now!

(if you missed the rules and prizes post earlier this week be sure to check it out here!)

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Secret to Making Women Happy

I guess I'm on a little bit of a John Gray kick lately. I saw a couple of clips of one of his speaking engagements and found them accurate and entertaining. This one is true and gets to the same point that I have made dozens of times myself: it's the small and simple things that make the biggest difference.

Let's remember the small and simple things. :)

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Prizes & Guidelines

Cami and I are getting SO excited for the 25 Acts of Kindness Challenge. It's going to be so much fun!

If you missed my post on Friday announcing it read it now. In short, I find that doing small and simple things for my wife strengthens our marriage and our friendship and helps us to be happier. I fall increasingly more in love with her as I do kind things for her and as she does them for me. To provide additional motivation for us to do kind things for each other and to help motivate other couples we challenge you to a competition. It's called the 25 Acts of Kindness Challenge.

The challenge works like this: beginning at 9am EDT on Monday, October 7th the race is on. You and your spouse must perform 25 acts of kindness for the other (50 in total) as quickly as possible. Keep track of the acts of kindness and who did which. When you're both done submit that list to me. The first three to do it win a prize. Everyone who participates will have fun and strengthen their marriage.

You do not want to miss out on this. It's going to be a lot of fun for both you and your spouse and if you're fast enough you'll win a prize.

Remember, the sign up opens early on Friday morning so mark your calendar!

Today we need to get down to the "business" end of the competition, the nuts and bolts if you will.

We need to establish the ground rules and talk about the prizes.

First, let's do the rules.
  1. You AND your spouse must BOTH complete 25 acts of kindness for each other (50 in total)
  2. You may NOT repeat any of the actions. For example, if I pick a flower for my wife and give it to her I cannot do it again and have it count toward my 25. However, she could give me a flower and it would count toward her 25. 
  3. You and your spouse may not end up with identical lists. You may both do a few of the same things but there must be definite variety.
  4. While each of your 25 actions does not need to be stupendous and "show stopping" each should be meaningful and from the heart.
  5. The first three couples to complete the 25 acts of kindness AND submit their lists to me will win a prize. The first will pick which of the three they want, the second will pick from the remaining two, and the third will receive the last prize.
Great. That's out of the way. If you have any questions please ask them in the comments and I will respond as quickly as I can.

Now to the good stuff...the prizes!

Cami and I thought and thought about this. We didn't want to break our bank but at the same time we wanted the prizes to be worthwhile. They also needed to appeal to a broad audience as each couples' tastes differ. It wasn't easy but we've enjoyed doing it.

Without further ado, here are the three prizes that we've put together:

  1. One month of Datelivery, an online service that helps couples break the mundane dating routine of dinner and a movie that we often fall into
  2. Broadway Basketeers Gift Tower of Sweets (includes: black taffy, butter toffee peanuts, chocolate chip cookies, a cajun and cranberry mix, pecan popcorn, honey roasted cashews, and caramel cookies)
  3. A Halloween Smile Box AND a Redbox gift card for 5 movie rentals!
We're getting super excited and we hope you are too!!

Monday, September 23, 2013

Happy Marriages

What is a happy marriage?

This is something that has been on my mind for about for about a month now. There was a question posed on Facebook by one of my close friends which read "how do you help your husband feel loved after you have a baby?" One of my other friends responded with an insightful account of her own thoughts that surprised me.

The response was a narrative of her thought process after she read the question. She wondered if she was a bad wife because she hadn't thought too much about her husband after their first child was born. She was busy dealing with adjusting to being a new mother and all of the wondrous "issues" that come with it (pain, breastfeeding, late nights, lack of sleep, bouts with postpartum depression, etc.).

As she reflected on this time in her life she felt a twinge of guilt and asked her husband if he had felt neglected. He, being a good man and loving husband, was surprised and answered no. He explained to her that he knew she was going through a lot at the time and felt that it was his job to support her at that difficult time.

She finished her account by proclaiming that she had the best husband in the world. :) (and he is a great guy!)

While I still maintain that I am the best husband in the world (just kidding, I try to be though) my friend's introspection inspired me to do some thinking and to reconsider my idea of a happy marriage.

I mean what really constitutes a happy marriage? Is it gushing affection? Loads of physical intimacy? Talking? Spending a lot of time together? A great friendship?

The media promotes ideas about what is romantic and what dating should be like. Authors write of undying affection and admiration for another person. It is clear what dating and newly wed life is "supposed" to be like but how often do we see a movie or read a book about that boring old couple that has been together for fifty years? What is a happy marriage supposed to look like?
Photo Courtesy of Vial Photography

Cami and I have a vision of what a happy marriage is for us and we work really hard to achieve and maintain it. We have decided that for us part of one aspect of being happily married is to seek to clearly put each other before ourselves, the children, work, church, and everything else in our lives. We don't need money to be happy (but we would like more!), we just need each other. No judging, selfishness, or lies and inviting God into our marriage help us to be happy.

However, our vision of a happy marriage isn't necessarily what everyone's marriages should look like. Each couple is unique, their situation and needs are different, and how best to achieve happiness in their marriage is up to them to decide. 

For my friend who posed the question on Facebook "how do you help your husband feel loved after you have a baby?" clearly she has chosen to put her husband before herself, even at this extremely inconvenient time of her life, because that is how she and her husband have chosen to pursue the goal of a happy marriage. For my other friend who responded to the question and sparked my thoughts on the matter and her husband I believe that they too have a happy marriage.

So who is to say which is happier and which is right? Certainly it isn't me. I guess the moral of the story is that we should concentrate on making our marriages happy and let others worry about theirs. I know for Cami and me there is plenty to do within our own marriage to keep it happy without spending time judging the marriages around us.

Happy marriages come in many shapes and sizes, ours is just one of them.

Regardless, however, of the exact "shape" of the happy marriage there are three things that ALL truly happy marriages have in common:
  1. The husband and wife love each other more than they love themselves. Selflessness is a key ingredient. If you aren't willing to sacrifice yourself for your spouse you haven't qualified yourself to possess their whole heart. If you aren't willing to sacrifice yourself for your spouse you haven't given them your whole heart.
  2. Each spouse invests a considerable amount of time and energy into loving the other. Happiness is work. A lot of work. However, it pays dividends quickly. Do something nice for your spouse and see how quickly it gets repaid. You'll be surprised, especially when you make it a habit, of how quickly doing little nice things for your spouse makes a huge difference.
  3. They treat their marriage as a treasure, "a pearl beyond price". How would you care for a tree on which money grew? Or a goose that laid golden eggs? You would guard it jealously and fiercely protect it. You would care for it tenderly and nurture it. Your marriage is even more valuable. Treat it as such.
What do you and your spouse consider the traits of a happy marriage to be? Please tell me in the comments!

Don't forget to check back tomorrow to find out the prizes for the 25 Acts of Kindness Challenge!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Stretch Your Kindness Muscles

Did you see my post yesterday?

I announced a competition that Cami and I are hosting. We're calling it the 25 Acts of Kindness Challenge and we invite all couples to compete against us!

I find that doing small and simple things for my wife strengthens our marriage and our friendship and helps us to be happier. I fall increasingly more in love with her as I do kind things for her and as she does them for me. To provide additional motivation for us to do kind things for each other and to help motivate other couples we challenge you to a competition. It's called the 25 Acts of Kindness Challenge.

The challenge works like this: beginning at 9am EDT on Monday, October 7th the race is on. You and your spouse must perform 25 acts of kindness for the other (50 in total) as quickly as possible. Keep track of the acts of kindness and who did which. When you're both done submit that list to me. The first three to do it win a prize. Everyone who participates will have fun and strengthen their marriage! In other words, no one loses. :)

On Tuesday we'll be unveiling the rules and the prizes that we're offering.

On Friday the sign up for the competition opens and remains open for one week.

Then, on Monday, October 7th, the competition begins!

Click here and enter your email address to be reminded when we unveil the prizes, open the competition registration, and when the competition itself begins.

Have a great weekend!

Friday, September 20, 2013

Friendly Competition (Win Some $$)

Men are competitive by nature. We like to play. We like a challenge. We love to win. I assume that you've noticed that players on the same sports team often become very close friends. That's because competition is one of the ways that we, as men, bond. It's instinctual.

Typically the advice that is given to couples is not to compete with each other; you are a team and you're in the game to win together.

Today, however, I challenge you to compete with each other. The goal: to see how much closer you can become as a couple.

I bet that this competition will do just that. I challenge you to prove me wrong. :)

Alright, this competition is designed to be a friendly one between husband and wife. Here's the game: do 25 nice things for your spouse as quickly as you can. It's that simple.

Here are the rules:
  1. You have to start on the same day at the same time. That way you both have a couple of days to get your game plan ready and make any preparations that may be needed.
  2. You cannot count the same nice thing more than once. Therefore sending a sweet text message would qualify as one kind thing, sending another sweet text the next day would not count toward the completion of this contest (however, it would still be a good idea).
  3. The first one to make it to twenty-five wins!
Cami and I will also be doing this and we're really looking forward to it. I know it's going to be tough to beat her because she's SO much sweeter and more thoughtful than I am, however, that's not going to stop me from trying!

Okay, now to make it even more interesting and hopefully to ensure that not only will no harm come of this but that you will love your spouse more and be a stronger team because of it let's enhance the competition a bit. 

I invite and encourage you (I DARE YOU!) to sign yourself and your spouse up to compete against Cami and me. Keep track of the twenty five kind things that you each do for each other and the time you finished the last one. Then submit the lists to me. The first three couples to successfully complete the challenge will win a prize (and it's going to be a good one!). We'll start on Monday, October 7th at 9:00am EDT.

I will announce the prizes for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place along with more detailed guidelines for the competition on Tuesday, September 24th so don't miss it!

I will post the sign up form for the competition on Friday, September 27th so be sure to check back with me. The sign up will be open for seven days.

That's right, I'm throwing down the gauntlet. I'm daring you to try to beat your spouse AND Cami and me. In fact, I triple dog dare you! Come on, don't be chicken.

Click here and enter your email address to be reminded when we unveil the prizes, open the competition registration, and when the competition itself begins.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Who's Keeping Score?

Great question, huh? Well, I am. And so is Cami. I have said for years that life is all about points. The more you have the happier your life and your marriage.

Dr. John Gray explains how points work in relationships, and he's pretty funny too.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

It's Time to Play!!

When was the last time you played? Really just got down to it and played? 

Photo courtesy of Vial Photography
I think that last time I really played, like my kids do, was probably a month ago when I took them to the park. We played tag and hide-and-seek and I felt like a kid again (except that after a few minutes of being chased around the playground I was winded and sweating like an old man).

Playing is an important part of our development when we are young. Just like little cats will chase each other's tails and chomp on each other's ears to practice actual hunting and fighting, human offspring play house and pretend to kill things (little girls generally do the former and boys the latter).

It is this acting out or pretending to do things that adult humans do that trains little ones for life. Caring for a baby doll, while not at all like caring for a real baby, gets children accustomed to the idea and even excited for it. 

With this in mind, that playing is a way to prepare for adulthood, is there any reason to play once you are an adult?

I propose that there are at least two reasons to play once you are an adult. And I recommend that you play with your spouse.

First, when you play together you are spending time together. In our busy world and busy lives playing often gets overlooked. Playing together is a great way to spend quality time with your spouse doing something fun. Try board games, tag, hide-and-seek, it doesn't really matter. Just play. You can even pretend to be paleontologists and go looking for dinosaur bones!

Second, playing together creates additional shared experiences. It is the small and simple things that really make a difference in the strength of our marriages. The small things add up over time and their presence in a marriage invariably makes it stronger while their absence makes it weaker. Playing is a small thing, positive shared memories are a small things, but the more that there are the stronger the marriage will be.

I guess the old adage is true: couples who play together stay together (I don't really know if that's an old adage or not but it's still true!)

How many times have you gone to dinner with your spouse, sat down across from them at the table, and had nothing real to talk about? In order to help us all I have come up with the solution and I now offer it to you now for free! Click here to get my 20 Conversation Starting Questions for Married Couples now! I promise, you'll be glad you did.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Monday, September 16, 2013

Madison Wood Gym Set Giveaway!

As many of you know I am in the process of building a tree house for my boys. It's been fun so far and I'm looking forward to continuing to work on it with them and, one day, finish it. But when I see pre-built play structures like this one I wonder if it wouldn't have been better just to buy one like it. I mean, they look like they would be fun for four boys, right? :)

In the end though I think the tree house will be better. I'll have bonding time with my little ones and it will definitely be unique. No other tree house on earth will be like it.

Now I know that not everyone enjoys building things so for those of you who don't (either because you really don't like or simply don't have the time) here's a cool giveaway I came across for you. I love that insurance is included too. Good luck!
Hosted by:

Co-Hosted by:

One lucky winner will win


Value $329.98 + Insurance for 2 years $52.99
(if is not available, winner can pick any Gym set up to $390.00 with insurance include)


September 16 to October 7

US residents only

All entries are optional

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclosure:  NYSavingSpecials is responsible for prize.  If you have any question about this giveaway please send an email to  All entries are optional, if you do any of the tasks with multiples entries, even if you do one entry you can get the extra entries,. but if the winner tasks is a tasks you did not complete, a second winner will be chosen. If the winner tasks is the one you did you will be the winner.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

$200 Amazon Gift Card Giveaway

I'm all about cash and I love Amazon (I'm sure it has something to do with my obsession/addiction to books). For these two reasons when I saw the opportunity to participate in this giveaway I decided to jump in. I hope that you join in and, as Cami likes to quote, "may the odds be ever in your favor."

 photo BirthdayImage_zps4150e1dd.jpg 

Friday, September 13, 2013

13 Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him

My third son just turned two. He LOVES puppies right now so he got puppy cupcakes which were absolutely adorable.

He also received puppy pajamas from his Grandma Cooper and a cute little puppy stuffed animal.

When he opened the birthday package that my mom sent him and saw the little puppy he jumped in excitement, his hands shot out and grabbed it, and he brought it back and hugged it to his chest. He then gently kissed it on the nose. We were all laughing hysterically at this point because of his reaction (my mom was watching on Skype and was laughing too!).

He took the little puppy to bed with him that night and has slept with it each night since.

As I've thought about this little puppy I came to a realization: husbands are like puppies...we need to be loved. Have you ever seen a dog that isn't loved? What an ugly, pathetic, and sad creature. Husbands that don't know they are loved (or that forget) can get to be the same way.

To ensure that this doesn't happen on my watch (I mean, what's worse than a pathetic husband? We just get all whiny and irritating) I have composed a list of 13 ways wives can show/remind their husbands that they love them. Here you are:
  1. Show an interest. Whatever is important to him, whether that is his work, a hobby, or something else, try to care about and be interested in it. We want to share our lives with you, that's why we married you, and work and hobbies are a large part of our lives. Spend time getting to know that part of who we are.
  2. Be proud to be his wife. Tell him that you are proud of him and glad that you are his wife and, and this is important, tell him WHY you are proud of him and glad to be his wife.
  3. A Massage. On a particularly hard day (or for no reason at all) sit him down and give him a massage. He'll love it.
  4. Make his favorite dessert. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach and speaking as a man I can tell you that it definitely true.
  5. Listen to what he has to say. I have friends whose wives are so excited and anxious to tell their husbands about their day that the husbands never get a chance to share. Take a minute or two at least every so often and actually listen to your husband tell you about his day. It will show him he's important to you and bring you closer together as he shares another part of his life with you.
  6. Wear that one outfit. Pay attention to your husband's reactions to what you wear. When you find an outfit to which he responds particularly well make plans to wear it again often. He'll appreciate it.
  7. Say thank you. In our busy lives we often forget to thank others for the small things that they do for us. Thank your husband for taking out the trash, getting the oil in the car changed, and fixing that leaky pipe. He'll feel loved and will begin showing you appreciation for the little things that you do as well.
  8. Defend your husband. My wife shares with me that she often finds herself with different groups of friends that are bashing their husbands. She doesn't participate. One time several years ago it was a group of coworkers that were talking about how their husbands irritate them. They asked Cami what about me irritated her and she responded that she couldn't think of anything because she focused on the things that she loved about me. The conversation ended pretty quickly after that.
  9. Let him win...sometimes. I love playing games with Cami. Except for Battleship. I don't think I have ever beat her at Battleship (I'm pretty sure she cheats, I just can't figure out how). But with other games, because she knows I like to win, I'm pretty sure that from time to time she let's me win. I appreciate that.
  10. Need to be protected. In today's world with all of the woman's rights and woman's equality propaganda and efforts too often women don't let their husbands be the protector. You don't need to be weak and submissive but let him protect you. Whether that is by sleeping closest to the door or walking between you and a creepy person on the street it doesn't matter. The thing that is important to us as men is that we can protect those that we love most: our wives and children.
  11. Work with him. I love it when Cami comes out into the yard and helps me pull leaves and holds boards for me while I nail them into place. I get to spend time with her, she is showing me that I am important enough to her that she wants to spend time with me, and the work gets done much faster allowing me to spend more time with her. Work with your husband.
  12. Watch his movie. We watch a lot of romantic comedies and that's okay. I actually enjoy them too but I can only take so much. Cami is sweet and often cedes the movie picking to me and that's when we watch the fun movies (where there's action and adventure!). Just like me watching the romantic comedies shows Cami that she's important to me and I love her the same is true when she let's me pick the movie. It's one of the ways I know that she loves me.
  13. Forgive him. We men do dumb things. I believe it is in our nature. Please forgive us. And when you've forgiven forget about it too. I'm grateful that each time I do something dumb I'm not reminded of all of the dumb things I've ever done.
Who knows, this may just be the start of a new movement. We'll call it WAPH (Wives Against Pathetic Husbands). Maybe not...

What do you do to show your husband that you love him? Let me know in the comments!

Due to the popularity of this post, and the need we men have to be told we're loved, I want to make sure you're aware of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great. This book will not only help you show your husband that you love him it will help you improve your entire marriage!

You think you're happy now, and I'm sure you are, but I challenge you to read Uplifting Love and apply what you learn today to make your marriage awesome! Don't wait another minute, start taking your marriage from good to great today!

Purchase your copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great right now and have it delivered to your inbox immediately! In just a matter of minutes you'll be on your way to having the marriage that your friends and family envy. Don't delay, get your copy today!
Buy Now

Thursday, September 12, 2013

I Slept Like a Baby

Cami has been coming across some pretty funny stuff online lately. Here's one of the most recent.

With our new little one in the house I am certain that Cami feels that this is more true now than usual.

How do you (or how does your husband) sleep? :)

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

What is Uplifting Love?

Do you wonder where the name for this blog came from? I'm weird and when I see a blog or a website I always try to figure out it's domain name and why that domain was chosen.

If you're like me (and most of you probably are not, I recognize I am "different") then you may wonder the same thing about Uplifting Love.

Let me tell you why I chose the name Uplifting Love and I will do so by defining what Uplifting Love is, at least as far as I am concerned.

Love is a fascinating emotion, especially romantic love which for the sake of our discussion we will define as love between a man and a woman. It is so compelling that some of the greatest minds over the millennia have spent countless hours writing plays, poetry, and novels concerning it.

From the time that we are young we think about it, obsess over it, and hope to find and hold on to it. The search for love can lead to tragedy as Shakespeare so beautifully describes in Romeo and Juliet. Misplaced love can lead to heartache. Unrequited love can destroy hearts and lives.

But real love, lasting love brings peace, happiness, satisfaction, and unparalleled joy. It lifts the human soul to heights never before imagined and inspires us to greatness.

Love is the most powerful force in existence. It is what powers the universe itself.

This type of love is uplifting love. The trick is learning how to tap into this kind of love and then invest the effort required to obtain it.

That's the my purpose for writing and maintaining this blog. My hope is that what I share will help others discover and cultivate uplifting love in their marriages and strengthen marriages where uplifting love can already be found.

Turning good marriages into great marriages...that's Uplifting Love.


I would love to hear what you think about my blog, any suggestions or feedback you have for me, and your thoughts on this. How can I explain it better? How can I reach a greater audience? Please tell me in the comments.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Guide to a Happy Marriage

Here's a cute montage of clips from the old show I Love Lucy. The creator put it together to illustrate key facets of having a happy marriage. It's a little long but it's funny, especially if you remember watching the actual show (I obviously did not see them live on TV but as reruns).


Monday, September 9, 2013

The Way to a Man's Heart

I was reflecting on the posts I have written lately and realized that for one reason or another several of them have referred to food. There was the 6th Love Language and then there was 13 Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him and I shouldn't forget 10 Ways to Keep Your Husband Happy.

Caramel Caribou Popcorn (because I LOVE popcorn!)
After this realization I decided that I would put together a set of desserts that I would love to have as a suggestion and resource for you wonderful wives who use food to show your husband that he's loved.

Snickers Fudge (my favorite candy bar)
Reese's Overload Cookies | | #Reeses #peanutbutter #cookie
Reese's Overload Cookies
Marshmallow Creme Crunch Brownies

Peanut Butter Chocolate Cheesecake
Easy Banana Cream Pie Recipe
Banana Cream Pie (in a bowl)
I have combed many a Pinterest board and quite a few of my food blogging friends' blogs to put together this list. Each recipe looks amazing and I've tried to include a variety because tastes vary. A great resource is which is my friend's, Ashton, blog. Her Pinterest is pretty mouth watering as well.

If there's a recipe you think should be included but isn't please share it in the comments (or provide a link to it). I'm excited to see what you share.



How many times have you gone to dinner with your spouse, sat down across from them at the table, and had nothing real to talk about? In order to help us all I have come up with the cure and I now offer it to you free! Just click here to get my 20 questions now! I promise, you'll be glad you did.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

5 Deadly Terms Used by a Woman

Cami found this on Facebook a few days ago and we had a good laugh. Her sister and mom were over the same evening that Cami found it and that consensus was that it's accurate and correct.

Just to make sure that they weren't just weird I checked the Facebook post itself and found that there were 22 comments that all confirmed that it is indeed accurate. What really amazed me is that in two days it had been shared 737 times! Once I saw that I was decided that it had to be shared here.

What say you? Is this correct? Let me know in the comments.

Friday, September 6, 2013

In Honor of Football Season

September is a wonderful month and I think that all men would agree with me. Because September means football starts. That's right. :)

What I especially love is that there is too much football to even try to watch. Between high school, college, and NFL games almost every day there's some game to watch.

Now, I must confess that I'm not an avid fanatic. I don't have any one teams statistics memorized. I couldn't name more than a player or two from any team, even my favorites. And I don't actually watch too many games. But I love to watch football. Especially high school and college football.

I prefer watching high school and college teams because they are good but still make plenty of mistakes which keeps the games quite interesting. For me, the NFL is just too good and isn't interesting enough. That's just my personal opinion though.

This last Friday night our local high school beat one of its biggest rivals for the first time in 17 years. The city was a mess with celebrations for hours after the game. It was awesome.

Alright, by now you're probably wondering what football has to do with marriage. I don't know. I just wanted to talk about football for a few minutes.

Just kidding. Football season is a great time to talk with your husband and do a little bit of bonding with him. Here are three reasons why (and how):
  1. If it isn't against your principles (because you root for an opposing team), root for his team(s). This will give you something to talk about as you discuss their season record, great games, talk team strategy, and reminisce about that great play.
  2. If you don't know much about football ask your husband about the game. Ask about the rules, the different teams, why he likes the teams that he does, etc. Often we men can be difficult to engage in conversation. If you ask us about football you might not be able to get us to stop talking. :)
  3. Spend some time in the yard tossing the football back and forth. Earlier this summer I was in the front yard trying to play catch with my two oldest sons. They enjoyed it for a few minutes and then got bored and went to do other things. Cami came out and we tossed the football back and forth for 20 minutes or so and had a great conversation. I enjoyed throwing the old pigskin AND getting to talk to Cami.
Football season often means that you lose your husband to "the game" but this season give my suggestions a try and, while you may not be talking about what you would prefer, you will be talking and spending time with the man you love.


How many times have you gone to dinner with your spouse, sat down across from them at the table, and had nothing real to talk about? In order to help us all I have come up with the cure and I now offer it to you free! Just click here to get my 20 questions now! I promise, you'll be glad you did.

Photos courtesy of Microsoft Clip Art

Thursday, September 5, 2013

How Many Reminders Do You Need?

When I was a kid ABC (the television network) ran this block of family friendly shows on Friday nights and called it TGIF. I absolutely loved TGIF and every Friday sat down to watch shows like Hanging with Mr. Cooper, Boy Meets World, and Family Matters.

They would run these fun commercials during the shows targeted at teenagers and one of them said "If your mom doesn't say it at least three times she doesn't mean it." I thought that was so funny; my mom didn't agree. :)

Mark Gungor addresses a similar concept in this video below. He's got some good points. :)

What do you think about what Mark Gungor shared? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

"Why are you never gonna leave?"

A few weeks ago my family is sitting around the dinner table. This is a week or so after Cami and I have brought home our fourth child from the hospital and we are commenting on the size of our family. Cami and I are both surprised at how the time has flown by and how our family has grown. We can't believe that we are the parents of four children.

Photo courtesy of Vial Photography

Our oldest son then asks "Are you guys excited to have twenty kids?"

Cami and I exchange confused and shocked looks. "What do you mean son?" we asked.

He tells us that he thinks we're going to have twenty kids in our family.

"Why do you think that?" I said.

"I don't know. I just think it would be funny" he replies.

At this point I begin contemplating a life with twenty children. I picture Cami being pregnant another sixteen times. All the diapers to change, the milk that would be consumed, all of the years of not sleeping. Wow.

Then my thoughts, for whatever reason, turned to Eve. How many children she must have had! Hundreds of years of child bearing and rearing. "Poor mother Eve" is my comment.

Suddenly, our oldest, with a bewildered look on his face, asks "why are you never gonna leave?"


The answer to his question is:
  1. I love your mother and I have covenanted to cleave unto her and be one flesh
  2. I love you and your brothers and part of my covenant with your mother and with God is to care for you and never leave you
  3. You and your brothers are TONS of fun (usually) and who would I play with before and after work if I left?
  4. If I left I would miss you, your brothers, and your mom fiercely, so much that it would hurt. I'm not interested in hurting.
  5. Who would take care of you, teach you how to be a real man, how to treat a woman, how to work and be responsible for your actions if I left? It's my job and privilege to teach you these things. I'm not going anywhere.
That's why I'm never gonna leave my son.


How many times have you gone to dinner with your spouse, sat down across from them at the table, and had nothing real to talk about? In order to help us all I have come up with the cure and I now offer it to you free! Just click here to get my 20 questions now! I promise, you'll be glad you did.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Saving Your Marriage

"A marriage, eternal in duration and Godlike in quality, does not contemplate divorce." 


Monday, September 2, 2013

10 Ways to Tell Your Wife She is Beautiful

I love this quote. I completely, 100% agree with it. Every woman needs to be told she is beautiful. 

Just as important, every wife deserves to be told she is beautiful by her husband. I make it a point to tell my wife how beautiful, attractive, and pretty she is many times a day. 

There are many ways to tell your wife that she is beautiful. The key is to do it and do it often. Here are ten ways to tell your wife she is beautiful.
  1. "You know, you are looking especially pulchritudinous today." (you can also consider this your word of the day!)
  2. "Wow, you look stunning!"
  3. "You are just gorgeous"
  4. "I am so lucky to have married such a pretty woman"
  5. "You look lovely"
  6. "What an attractive lady!"
  7. "You are striking in that outfit"
  8. "You are one FINE looking woman!"
  9. "Huh. I'm glad I have such a good-looking wife."
  10. My personal favorite: "Honey, you are beautiful and I love you."
Okay. Go tell your wife she's beautiful.

Due to the overwhelming popularity of this post and topic I want to make sure that you are aware that while telling a woman she is beautiful is great, SHOWING her that she's beautiful is at least TEN times better!

Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great will not only help you show your wife she's beautiful it will help you improve your entire marriage; you know, take it to the next level.

You think you're happy now, and I'm sure you are, but I challenge you to read Uplifting Love and apply what you learn today to make your marriage awesome! Don't wait another minute, start taking your marriage from good to great today!

Purchase your copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great right now and have it delivered to your inbox immediately! In just a matter of minutes you'll be on your way to having the marriage that your friends and family envy. Don't delay, get your copy today!

Buy Now

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