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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Are your glasses dirty?

Each day I spend some time scouring the web looking for interesting information to share and new perspectives and insights into love and marriage. Yesterday I stumbled upon a blog hosted by Harvard's Extension School that had a post titled "5 Tips for Healthy, Loving Relationships" written by Holly Parker. It was a good post and reinforced some of the suggestions that we've covered here in the past. It was so good that I want to spend some time over the next few days going over some of the 5 tips.
Source
The first tip is to see the best in your partner and in your relationship. Which is easier: to find the good or the bad in a situation? For me, it's much easier finding the bad. But if I make an effort, it's gets easier to see good things. It's like an example I heard recently of looking through dirty glasses.  It is much easier to blame the "dirt" we see on who we see through it but if we'll clean the dirt off (negative thoughts) we can see more clearly. Because I am prone to focusing on the negative I made it a personal goal when Cami and got married to only see the good things about her. I could now write a several volume series of books about her wonderfulness (maybe I will someday, huh...). When I was 17 I heard one of the leaders of my religious congregation say "Your dad knows your mother's flaws and weaknesses better than anyone else but when he talks about her you know that he truly believes that she is perfect." I want someone to say that about me someday.

Here's the trick I use: when I am tempted or begin to think negatively about my beautiful wife I immediately stop and think about one of the many things I love and appreciate about her. Some of the things that regularly come to mind are her kindness, her laugh, her eyes (I love her eyes! They are like little suns because of the way that they are colored), her physical appearance (I am quite attracted to her), the wonderful mother of our sons she is, her generosity with her time and willingness to help others, I could go on and on but this is just to give you an idea.

Today's challenge is to identify 5 things that you LOVE about your spouse. Write them down on a notecard you can keep in your pocket or write them down on your phone or something. Then the next time you are tempted to think ill of your spouse pull out the list and slowly review it. The negative thoughts will scurry away and you'll feel "the love."

1 comment:

  1. Love this, Tyson! I keep an ongoing never-ending list of reasons I love my husband and share them on my blog. He gives me at least a few new reasons to fall in love with him all over again every day. I'm always on the lookout for new reasons. Looking forward to reading the article you mentioned. I'm going to hop over to the Harvard Extension site now to read it. Thanks for linking up!

    ReplyDelete

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