Please note that some of the links below are affiliate links, and at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you decide to make a purchase.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

A Catchy Title

We were coming home from church meetings on Sunday and another driver tried to be kind to us. We were attempting to make a left turn and a driver in an oncoming traffic lane stopped to let us turn in front of him. The problem is that his side of the road was two lanes so it wasn’t safe for us to turn even though he had stopped. After a few seconds of him being patient and waiting for us he got agitated and aggressively waived us forward. I suddenly lost my temper and decided to turn to please the guy. Almost immediately I realized that I was sacrificing the safety of my family to please some stranger in a truck and I became angry at myself. My level of anger/irritation at the entire situation escalated yet again when a car almost t-boned us as we crossed the second lane. All of this because someone, trying to do a nice thing, became irritated and I reacted.

As I have reflected on this over the last two days I have wondered how often this happens. How often do I get upset and make unwise decisions because of someone else? I suspect it is far more than I care to admit.

Last night as my wife and I were winding down our evening activities and beginning to prepare to retire to bed I had an idea that I wanted to flesh out a little bit more for a project I am managing at work. I sat down at the computer to ensure that I emailed my idea and corresponding details to myself before I forgot. While I did so my wife finished getting ready for bed, asked that I do the same, and then proceeded to bed. Once there she sweetly and gently reminded me that she missed me and wanted me to join her. After the second or third reminder I, once again, suddenly became irritated and responded aggressively to her that I would come in a minute indicating that this would only be possible if she stopped harassing me (she wasn’t harassing me, I was being absurd). This hurt her feelings, I felt ashamed to have treated my beautiful and wonderful wife so poorly, and I immediately ended what I was doing and went to seek her forgiveness.

Both of these experiences have led me to ask these questions: “How often am I unkind to those that I love most? Why do I do it?” I believe the answers are: far too often and because they will still love me. How dumb is that?! I am unkind to those that I am closest to because they will still love me. I believe this should be the other way around. I should be nicest to those I love most because they love me. Often I do or say silly/unkind things to my loved ones because I am irritated by what another said or did. How absurd.

Admittedly, I have a lot to work on in my struggle to become a better person but I believe that this is common among most people, that we are often unkind to those we care most about. I invite your thoughts on why this is and what can be done to do better.

(Don’t worry, I have a wonderfully forgiving wife who, after a sincerely apology from me, promptly forgave me. Isn’t she amazing?)

Friday, November 9, 2012

Mariachi Mayhem

Last night my wife called me and asked what I wanted for dinner. She’s been a little under the weather again and wasn’t really feeling up to making dinner so I suggested that we go out to eat. There is this new Mexican restaurant in a neighboring town that I have heard good things about so we decided take the kids and go and try it out. 

When we arrived there was a sign just outside the front door that read “Thursday night: live mariachi band.” My first reaction was “cool!” We went inside and were seated really quickly. Then it happened. The music started. From that point for a straight 45 minutes the music was so loud in this small restaurant that I couldn’t hear myself think. I had to read the menu items three or four times before my brain would grasp what I was reading because of the noise. They were a good band and played quite a few different songs. They would move from table to table in the restaurant serenading the patrons. It was neat, except I found myself getting irritated. At first I thought it was because of the noise but after we had been there for twenty minutes or so I realized it was because it was so loud that I couldn’t talk to my beautiful wife or our children. Literally, when the waitress came to take our order I pointed to the menu items I ordered for myself and my son. I didn’t even try to talk because I would have had to yell. This realization, that I was annoyed because I couldn’t talk with my family, really surprised me. I thought about it some more (as much as I was able with the noise) and realized that I underappreciate just how much I enjoy talking with my wife and children and just how much fun and how important it really is.

When the band finally made its way to the far side of the restaurant and the noise died down I quickly seized the opportunity to strike up a conversation with my wife and sons. I complimented my wife on how lovely she looked and thanked her for going out to dinner with me. I asked my sons if they were enjoying their food and if they liked the music (they responded affirmatively. They LOVED watching the band and listening to the music). And I simply enjoyed being able to have a conversation with my family again. I am grateful for the reminder of the importance of talking with our spouses and families and will remember this lesson for some time to come.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...