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Thursday, August 30, 2012


Sometimes we just need to be alone. My wife and I love being together. We spend every minute we can together. We wish that I didn’t have to go to work every day so that we could spend even more time together. But sometimes, we each just need to take some time for ourselves and be alone. This is something that even Jesus Christ did from time to time. We see this in Matthew chapter 14, Mark chapter 6, and John chapter 6. He leaves behind the multitudes and His disciples and spends some time alone. If the Savior of the world needed some time alone I am confident that we do too.

Recently my wife spent the evening at a Girls Night Out event put on by the local chapter of the MOMS Club of which she is a member. I was at home with the children. Other evenings I am attending a church function or service project and she is at home. I go on walks some mornings before work to give myself some time to think. When I am in the car alone I often leave the radio off so that I can have some time to ponder and reflect.  

We need to make sure that we have alone time. Often it is when we are alone that we can best think, review recent events, release stress and tension, pray, and mentally and emotionally work through things that are normally swirling around us. Each person needs a different amount of alone time and different kinds of alone time. I have a friend that just needs to get away from the house, children, her husband, routine, etc. every week or so. She needs the time to unwind so that she can tackle the challenges and opportunities ahead of her. I have other friends that never seem to be alone. They are always in meetings, working, helping others, and any free time they have is spent with their family. None of these things are bad, in fact, they’re all pretty great. I just don’t know when they get time to themselves. Maybe they don’t need as much as most of us.

A word of caution, there is a line between needing time alone to recharge and regroup mentally and emotionally and being selfish. We must avoid being selfish with our time. Our spouse needs us, our families need us. The balance for each of us is different so must each learn what it is on our own. However, I use the following rule of thumb to gauge whether I am being selfish with my time or not. If something keeps me from my alone time do I feel angry or irritated or just disappointed. If disappointed I think I’m doing okay; if angry I’m being selfish.

Spend a few minutes alone this week and reflect on your life. Recharge your batteries. It will give you more energy to devote to developing uplifting love in your marriage.

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