Friday, November 28, 2014

When It's Okay for A Man to Cry...It's Not When You Think

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I am a male. I also consider myself to be a man. They are not the same thing.

Male is a designation given to individuals in a species that meet certain criteria, primarily their reproductive organs.

All men are males, but a man is more than a male. A man is dependable, trustworthy, keeps his word, is a protector and provider, respects women, in short, he is someone of integrity.

As a man there are entire series of unspoken rules about all sorts of things. One of those is crying.

Men can cry. There's nothing wrong with that. I cried each time one of our children were born. I cry when I ponder on the sacrifices that my forefathers made to allow me my political and religious freedom. I tear up when I think of the sacrifices that our current military service men and women are making.

Other times that I tear up: when I think of the possibility of losing one of my children or my sweet wife, when I'm laughing too hard, when I see extreme suffering of other people, and I am cutting onions.

I think most people would agree with me that these are okay times for a man to cry. And they are. There's nothing wrong with shedding a few tears every now and again...in the right situation.

But is it okay for a man to cry when he is feeling grateful? Yes!

When individuals, both men and women, are filled with gratitude they often feel overcome by the emotion and tears come to their eyes. Pure gratitude is a powerful emotion. And it's okay for a man to cry when he's feeling gratitude.

I'm not saying that every time a man feels grateful for something he should burst into tears. But, for example, when I ponder on how lucky I am that Cami married me it often makes my eyes a bit misty.

It's okay for a man to cry...in certain circumstances. When he's feeling gratitude is one of them.

For a more extensive handling of man tears, including a brief history, see the great post When Is It Okay for A Man to Cry? at the site ArtOfManliness.com.

Are there other times that are okay for a man to cry?



Don't miss your chance to get a copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great. This book will not only help you show your husband that you love him it will help you improve your entire marriage!

You think you're happy now, and I'm sure you are, but I challenge you to read Uplifting Love and apply what you learn today to make your marriage awesome! Don't wait another minute, start taking your marriage from good to great today!

Purchase your copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great right now and have it delivered to your inbox immediately! In just a matter of minutes you'll be on your way to having the marriage that your friends and family envy. Don't delay, get your copy today!
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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Moments

There are many peaceful and serene moments that come and go. They often arrive unexpectedly and usually end just as we recognize them for what they are. But no matter their duration they are tender mercies, little gifts given to us to remind us to treasure the small and simple things.

This evening I was privileged to recognize one of these tender mercies.

Cami and I enjoy watching TV shows together. We are agreed that we watch far too much TV but we like to do it because it lets us disengage from the ordinary happenings of our day but also enjoy a shared experience together. I can't even begin to count the number of inside jokes we have that have come from our television "habit."

More often than not Cami will insist that we watch "just one more episode" before we go to bed. Inevitably she falls asleep by the end of the opening credit roll and I'm left watching the episode alone.

This happened again this evening. As the episode ended forty minutes later I looked over at her as the faint light from the street lamp gently rested on her soft, rosy cheek. My heart filled with love for her and a profound sense of gratitude that I have the privilege of being her husband. I cannot understand why she condescended to love and even marry me. However, how thankful I am!

Of all of the small, simple, peaceful, and serene moments that come and go I treasure these ones the most.

Today I am grateful for moments. Today I am grateful for Cami.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Why We All Should Have Paid More Attention in Math Class

My oldest son is in first grade this year (I know, I can't believe I'm old enough to have a kid in first grade either!). He is, of course, learning math. While he's still mastering addition and subtraction sometimes I find myself being my dad and trying to use more advanced math to help my son understand what he's being taught.

Yeah, it didn't work when my dad did it and shockingly it still doesn't work today. But that's beside the point.

Because math has been on my mind somewhat lately and because my thoughts have a horrible tendency to wander I caught myself thinking about fractions.

Now, I've never been a fan of fractions. I could work with them in elementary and middle school with minimal use of expletives but I've always been a decimals guy. While thinking about my sincere dislike of fractions the term "common denominator" sudden surfaced from the depths of my subconscious.

As the shock of the sudden recollection wore off I lightning bolt shot across my mind. It wasn't just one of those typical lightning bolts but what I call a "Denver lightning bolt" (I lived in Denver when I was a kid and I've never seen lightning anywhere else as awesome as it is in Denver, see the picture below).


The flash of lightning caused a light bulb to go off and suddenly I realized that there is a common denominator that links all families (for those like me that had no special affinity for fractions a common denominator is a value that all denominators in a set of fractions have in common and makes them able to relate to one another). Love.

All families have one thing in common: love. Love is the common denominator.

Ideally all families would feel and enjoy love all of the time but, unfortunately, that's occasionally not the case. However, mothers love their children. Husbands love their wives. Children love their parents. Siblings love each other. Grandparents and aunts and uncles, cousins and nieces and nephews love one another.

I was also recently reminded by a friend from college that families aren't just people to whom we're related. Families also consist of close friends, neighbors, mentors, and others about whom we care and who care about us.

Simply put, families are founded in and perpetuated through love. 

Therefore, what's the one element present in all families? You got it! It's our common denominator: love.

Maybe life is really all about fractions. I guess I should have paid more attention in math class.

Friday, November 14, 2014

5 Fun Ways to Persuade a Woman She's Beautiful

"A woman needs to be told she is beautiful." 
- Thomas Monson

Many woman struggle with their image and perception of their own beauty. Each woman's struggle is unique and varies in its severity but regardless of that it is pretty much universally true that every woman struggles with her own self-image from time to time.

I have always seen it as one of my duties as a husband to help my wife not only get through these periodic struggles but to do my best to prevent them entirely. My job is not to tell her that she's pretty but to help her know that she is beautiful and never doubt it.

While I haven't yet succeeded in preventing Cami from worrying about whether or not she's beautiful I think we have made significant progress. Here are five of ways that we can all, men and women, persuade a woman that she is beautiful. And the best part of this list is that they can all be done in 24 hours or less.

1. Learn to say "You are beautiful" in seven different languages. Google Translate is a big help here. It will even read you what it should sound like so you can practice your pronunciation. Here's are few I looked up.

  • Você é linda (Portuguese)
  • Waxaad u qurux badan (Somali)
  • Ou se bèl (Haitian Creole)
  • Du er smuk (Danish)
  • Jesteś piękna (Polish)
  • Ets bella (Catalan)
  • Güzelsin (Turkish)
2. Write notes that tell her she is beautiful and place them strategically throughout the house, her car, her office, etc. Everywhere she will be for the next 24 hours. For example, on her hair brush leave a note that says "You are so beautiful with your long flowing hair." With her glasses leave a note that says "You are so beautiful when you look at me with your penetratingly (eye color) eyes." In the fridge write "You are like cheese, you look more beautiful with age." You get the idea. The point is to hammer home to her that she is beautiful.

3. Send her to a spa for a day. A facial, getting her nails done, and a good haircut/styling make a huge positive difference in a woman's psyche.

4. Ask her friends and other family members to each write one reason that they find her to be beautiful. These can be reasons she is beautiful on the inside as well as outside but have them focus on the outside. It could be fun to do this twice, once for the outside beauty and then again for the internal beauty (real beauty). Then read them all to her.

5. Force her to stand in front of the mirror, look over her body, then look herself in the eyes and say "I am the most beautiful woman on earth." Have her do this until you notice the positive change in her countenance. Sometimes it can take a while but typically it's pretty fast.

A woman does need to be told she is beautiful and she needs to believe it. Give one or more of these five suggestions a try today. 

Now, tell me how it went in the comments.




Don't miss your chance to get a copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great. This book will not only help you show your husband that you love him it will help you improve your entire marriage!

You think you're happy now, and I'm sure you are, but I challenge you to read Uplifting Love and apply what you learn today to make your marriage awesome! Don't wait another minute, start taking your marriage from good to great today!

Purchase your copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great right now and have it delivered to your inbox immediately! In just a matter of minutes you'll be on your way to having the marriage that your friends and family envy. Don't delay, get your copy today!
Buy Now

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Why It's NEVER Okay to Look Twice

I was getting in the car yesterday and a woman walked by. I noticed that she was attractive but thought nothing more of it. As I was driving away I laughed to myself because in my single days I would have certainly gotten a second look and perhaps even a third to confirm my initial, instinctual assessment. But yesterday the thought to look again didn't even cross my mind.

Immediately I began to reflect on this and what was different now from when I was single. Obviously now I am married and it would be inappropriate for me to "get a better look." I devote all of my double takes to my smashingly beautiful wife.

But really it's because I have trained my eyes and my mind not to look twice at other women. I found many years ago that a second look typically leads to a third. Those second and third looks lead to thoughts and often fantasies about what would happen if I weren't married/with the person I'm in a relationship with (I'm not talking about anything erotic, just what ifs like how a conversation might go).

Those thoughts would make me feel the beginning tinges of guilt and disloyalty to my amazing wife and I would then have the chore of "dumping" those thoughts from my mind. Not an easy task.

As I drove I remembered dating in high school and junior high and having no qualms about looking twice at other girls. My friends and I would evaluate other girls and compare them to the girls we were dating or interested in. I think that's pretty typical behavior and young men have been doing it for generations, maybe even forever.

Next, the question formed in my mind, "why was it okay to look twice then but not now?"

After much consideration the short answer is that I hadn't made a commitment then to any of those girls to be 100% completely faithful to them physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for the rest of my life. I have made that commitment to my Cami-girl. That's the difference.

The moral of this story is that looking twice plants the seeds of infidelity. To be perfectly clear, I am NOT saying that looking twice is adultery or being unfaithful. Looking twice puts you on the pathway that leads to infidelity.

This goes for both men and women. Women often feel like they are exempt from this but they are not. When either a man or a woman look twice they open themselves up to the temptation to keep looking and after that one thing generally leads to another.

This is why it is NEVER okay to look twice.



Don't miss your chance to get a copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great. This book will not only help you show your husband that you love him it will help you improve your entire marriage!

You think you're happy now, and I'm sure you are, but I challenge you to read Uplifting Love and apply what you learn today to make your marriage awesome! Don't wait another minute, start taking your marriage from good to great today!

Purchase your copy of Uplifting Love: Secrets to Making a Good Marriage Great right now and have it delivered to your inbox immediately! In just a matter of minutes you'll be on your way to having the marriage that your friends and family envy. Don't delay, get your copy today!
Buy Now

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