Every second $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography.
Right now 28,258 internet users are viewing pornography. I live in a town of 6,000 people. That means that at this moment there are nearly six times as many people viewing pornography online than live in my entire town!
To learn more visit InternetSafety101.org.
Pornography use and addiction have reached epidemic proportions. Most people have either struggled with it themselves or know someone close to them that either has or currently is struggling with pornography.
Jen and Craig Ferguson struggled with Craig's addiction which at its height threatened to destroy their marriage. Together they were able to overcome his addiction and saved their marriage and wrote a book about their experience and what they learned.
The book is titled "Pure Eyes, Clean Heart" and is available for purchase on Amazon.com.
I was privileged recently to be able to ask them a few questions about their marriage and their experiences and I am honored to share their wisdom with you today.
Interview with Jen and Craig FergusonHow long have you been married?
We’ve been married 14.5 years.
How did you and your husband meet?
We met at church because we were both working with our church youth group. Fun fact about us? We got engaged 11 days after we started dating. But, we did wait 2 years to get married. Four months of that time we were an ocean apart when I was studying abroad in Denmark. We got very good at communicating via email and I think we grew closer as a result. Sometimes there is so much you want to say, but it’s hard to speak it face-to-face.
What has been the most difficult thing for you to learn in your marriage?
Jen: For me, the most difficult thing I had to learn was that I could not force Craig to do anything or be anything. This meant I had to learn to wait to see what God would do, both in Craig and in me, to bring reconciliation, redemption, trust, and healing. In the beginning of our marriage, I thought Craig should just do what I told him to do because clearly I was right. But all this did was make him want to rebel, whether it was good advice or not. Parenting my spouse was not the way God was going to use to deliver Craig from porn addiction. In fact, it was through God’s healing in Craig’s life that He showed me how and why I needed healing from being controlling.
Craig: That I’m not independent anymore. There are other people in my life that are, if not more, important than myself. I had to shift my thoughts and desires to incorporate the feelings and desires of my family. That’s hard for a lot of folks and it’s a sacrifice that everyone in the family unit has to perform in order for the family unit to work properly. I was by myself for several years before we were married. It caused some friction at the beginning. For example, Jen would want me to go to bed with her, but I wanted to use late night time as “free time.” I had to learn to give and take, just as she did.
What one piece of advice would you give a couple married for one month? Why?
Start off talking about the hard things. Even if it’s uncomfortable, even if you don’t know how to navigate the conversation, even if you’ve never shared it with anyone else. The enemy loves to toy with our secrets and use them to drive spouses apart. The more practice you have discussing hard topics, the more you will desire to keep things in the light.
If you had the chance to ask any question, what one question would you ask a couple that has been married for 60 years? Why would you ask that question? What do you think the answer would be?
Craig: I’d ask “What’s the best advice you can give newly married couples." Chances are whatever they say can be applied to any couple regardless of how long they’ve been married. I think they’d say this: Laugh often, forgive always, love until the very end.
Jen: I’d ask, “What’s the the biggest thing you did to keep the love alive?” I’d ask that because I think Craig and I are guilty of getting into ruts and routines and we lose sight of what first ignited our passion for each other. I think they’d answer, “Don’t be afraid to try something new."
Does your blog get in the way of your marriage/family? If so, how?
Jen: I don’t think the blog gets in the way as much as the book marketing did. I’m a type-A personality with a lot of drive. I did a lot of extra things to promote the book that God didn’t actually require me to do. Craig was instrumental in helping me see that I was working way too hard and that it was affecting our family life in a negative way. We’ve both grown to learn how to point out potential pitfalls in each other in a positive way instead of being nagging or disrespectful.
A big thank you again to Jen and Craig!! And don't forget to check out their book, "Pure Eyes, Clean Heart". By the way, thank you for not being one of the 28,258.